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                                                                                 Reg No - A101973OZ              




A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where a local politician took the opportunity to schmooze the good doctor a bit and asked him a question. 

'Would you mind telling me, Doctor,' he asked, 'how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?'

'Nothing is easier,' he replied. 'You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble. If the person hesitates, that puts you on the track.'

'What sort of question?' the man asked. 

Well, you might ask, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?'' 

The politician thought a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, 'You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history.' 


A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera. He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knew that he was not speeding. Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed. Now he began to think that this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as he passed the area again, but the traffic camera again flashed. He tried a fourth time with the same result. He did this a fifth time and was now laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past, this time at a snail's pace. 

Two weeks later, he got five tickets in the mail for Driving without a seat belt !!!    You can't fix stupid.


A woman named Felicity was from Beverly Hills. One day, she had a heart attack and was taken to hospital. While on the operating table she had a near-death experience.

She saw God and asked, "Is this it?"

God said, "No, you have another 30 to 40 years to live."
Upon her recovery she decided to have collagen shots, cheek implants, a facelift, liposuction, and breast augmentation. She also dyed her hair. She figured since she had another 30 to 40 years she might as well make the most of it.
She walked out of hospital after the last operation and was killed by an ambulance speeding up to the hospital.
She arrived in front of God and said, "I thought you said I had another 30 to 40 years?"

God replied, "Felicity?? I didn't recognize you!"               

The policeman got out of his car and the teenager he stopped for speeding rolled down his window.   "I've been waiting for you all day," the Cop said.

The kid replied, "Well I got here as fast as I could."

When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.



A wife asks her husband, “Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6."

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.  The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk"

He replied, "They had avocados."

If you're a woman, I'm sure you're going back to read it again!  Men will get it the first time. 


WIFE:  "There is trouble with the car.  It has water in the carburetor."

HUSBAND:  "Water in the carburetor?  That's ridiculous "

WIFE:  "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor."

HUSBAND:  "You don't even know what a carburetor is.  I'll check it out.   Where's the car?

WIFE: "In the pool".


I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area and went to the lost luggage office and reported the loss.
The woman there smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and said I was in good hands.

'Now,' she asked me, 'has your plane arrived yet?'...   (I work with professionals like this.)                                                                           




25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness.

That's scary.  It means 75% are running around untreated.  (hehe ... obviously written by a male)